7:30 AM: Maybe a variation on my fried rice muffins. Spanish rice style. Top with cilantro pesto. Yumm. But, first, coffee and a little more book time...
8:25 AM: Oh, crap. How am I going to get that fly out from between the patio door and the screen door out without him getting in the house? Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Dagnabbit, stop clinging to the screen and go away! Yeah, I can prevail over flies. Wash hands. Apron...
8:36 AM: Oh, crap! Spouse 1.0 needs to leave in 20 minutes, and I haven't even started assembling ingredients. OK, quick breakfast burrito for him, then make the muffins. Now, where did I put my iPad?
8:53 AM: Oh, crap! DAVID!!! You gotta get outta here!!!! Here. Eat this. Muffins when you get back.
9:08: 1 cup of cooked rice. Oh, crap! That doesn't look like even a third. Cook some quinoa? No, black beans! Yes, black beans!
9:10: Oh, crap! no black beans. (rummage, rummage rummage...) OK. Red beans. Mix dry ingredients. Now, get the muffin tins ready.
9:22: Dang, I hate it when the coconut oil spray drops on the floor, I really do need to organi... OH, CRAP!!! The sprayer doohickey's bent! IT WON'T STOP SPRAYING!
9:25: Well, if the can explodes, at least it'll do it outside in the trash bin.
9:27: Oh, crap! Oil on the kitchen floor. And, spray oil, no less!
9:53: OK. good enough for now. Clean more while the muffins are baking. Now where did I put the olive oil spray? Oh, crap, I can't be out! I never run out! Oh, here it is.
9:54: Muffins in the oven, floor still hazardous. I know! Put the non-slip undermat from a throw rug over the worst of it. Oh, crap, that's dirty. Need to get new undermats. Well, it'll keep us from breaking our necks for now. Hopefully.
9:56: Oh, crap, it's getting late. Still need to pack my lunch. And put notes on the floor so Spouse 1.0 doesn't slip and kill himself when he gets home. Yikes, what a mess! OK. Breathe. No problem. Still plenty of time.
10:17: Wow, a bit crumbly, but actually pretty tasty. Oh, crap! I should be in the shower already.
10:43: OK, showered, dressed, no makeup. Ready or not, here I com... Oh, crap! Still need to put muffins away. And set out some for Spouse 1.0. And pack some for Melanie.
10:48: Oh, crap, I'm late.
Not sure what I'll call these, but for now, I guess it's "Oh, Crap Muffins."